Entering the Mess of Motherhood
Welcome. Please enter.
Notice as you come through the door the pile of discarded shoes, school papers, and outer layers to your right.
Keep going.
On your left you will see the crumbs, smears, crayons, books and yarn from the last meal and remaining creative projects.Don't stop there. Please continue through the living room, straight ahead. There you will see toys: bits and pieces left strewn about. Watch your toes—there are loose, sharp Legos on the fuzz covered rug.
Please do avert your eyes from my own "office/creative mama space." That may be too much for a first time visitor. And, if you've come this far I can tell we'd be friends.
Turn now to your left and enter the kitchen where the remains of breakfast and lunch making are covering every surface in our haste to make it out the door on time. Oh, those small moving crumbs? Yes, those are ants. It's ant season around these parts.
Now, you may be thinking, that's nothing, you should see my house. But, I can't see your mess right now. And, this is how it often feels. That we are the only ones with the mess. And, when we jump on Instagram we see beauty and inspiration—and we want that.
But...What do we do on those days when all we can see is the mess we are living in and social media makes us feel more isolated than connected?
Here is what I do (when I remember to):
I take another look at the mess. This time, I really look. And then I notice (before I start tidying up) the life that is being lived while creating those messes. The laughter, the arguments, the nourishment that happened in each of these spaces. Some of them only recently vacated. The energy still present. And, I give thanks for this messy life.
I share it. This one is newer to me and I am practicing it right now—with you. I practice letting others in on the mess (the life) instead of quickly covering it up. I call someone. I admit that inside my door, these walls, all does not appear perfect and Instagram worthy all the time. I practice radical acceptance of this time I am in right now.
...I want to be clear. I'm not just talking about physical mess.
I'm talking about the inner turbulence of motherhood as well.
The boredom, isolation, and overwhelm that move into rooms within us. I have learned that the deep, important, and ultimately freeing work of paying attention to, accepting, and sharing the messy corners of my inner rooms with others is what ultimately helps me clear the cobwebs.
Because motherhood is messy. Just like life. And you are in it each and every day.
The trick is to embrace its riches and love the mess a little more. Want to love your mess a little more? Contact Jenn Gallucci, a Bainbridge Island life coach for moms.