Often what we most want for our children is born 0f our own deepest struggles from childhood.
It may be the one thing you’ve carried with you all the way to their birth and beyond. If you pause for a moment I bet you can name yours.
Here is mine: I want my children to grow up being comfortable in their own skin.
That pretty much sums it all up for me. It is the main reason I choose to send them to a Waldorf school for their grade school years. When they hit high school I am not concerned with their scores or their skills. I believe they will always be OK in life if they know themselves, love themselves, and are comfortable in their own beautiful unique-ness. The rest is easier. The rest is figure-outable.
The reason I want this so badly for them is because I struggle with it so much myself. I always have. Somewhere along the road of my life, beginning in childhood, I got the comparison message loud and clear and I have been working to overcome it ever since.
And, here is what hit me like a cosmic palm to the forehead this morning in the shower:
If I am my children’s first teacher, and I want them to learn to be at ease with themselves, my call to action is to find that ease and comfort in myself—NOW.
Standing next to my daughter I am aware of how I look in the mirror. Not what I see in the mirror but, how I look. Do I look with love and tenderness? Can I look into my face, truly regard my reflection, and give a little inner wink and outer smile of love? Can I put on my clothes with confidence and not fuss with them once I do? Can I let her snuggle into and touch the soft, squishiness of my belly without reacting?
I can now and I do.
It’s a conscious internal effort to undo the wiring that came before. It’s more than worth the inner struggle for two reasons:
- I want more than anything for my daughter to experience her inner beauty such that she glows outward and can see it for herself when she looks in the mirror.
- I want to see my own beauty and worth when I catch myself in the mirror. I want to see the love and light that is within me (and, all of us) reflected in it’s surface.
It’s all in how I look. These days I am choosing LOVE.
So, what’s on the line for you, dear reader? When you think about what you desire most for your kids is there a call to action for yourself in the answer? Becoming aware is the first step. Can you take a moment to meditate on, or jot down, a few more ways you can become the reality you most want for your kids.
YOU deserve what’s best for them.
I would love to hear what’s on the line for you. Contact Jenn Gallucci, Bainbridge Island life coach for moms.